Advice For The Masses

Anonymous asked: I started self harm and then stopped not long after, when my roommate convinced me that suicide and hurting myself wasn't the answer. But now, I keep feeling like it is the only answer because I keep messing up everything. I don't know what to do anymore. I have a suicide plan if things don't go the way I want to let me graduate before I break. I don't want to commit suicide, but at the same time, I do. It is on my mind every day, several times a day. My panic attacks are getting worse... (2/3)

(2/2)

That sounds really rough. Trust me when I say I have some idea of where you’re coming from. What it seems to me is that your friends or parents may be disappointed in you, but if they are, it’s only because they know how great you are, and how great you can be. You say you keep messing up everything. You’re not alone on that one, not by a long shot. So nobody’s going to hate you for making mistakes, because everyone makes them. It seems you’re the only one who hates you for your blunders. That’s what needs to change. Accept the fact that you’re screwing up, and figure out a way to overcome those mistakes and do better. Even if it’s not a lot better, or some tremendous change. Just a small step first, that will lead to more progress.

Suicide is the cowards way out. You are not a coward. You’ve already made the first step by talking about it. Stay strong my friend.

-John

Anonymous asked: Lately, things haven't been going well. I moved out of an abusive household and am now living on my own for the first time... I still have parental support, but I've never had it emotionally or mentally. I'm going into my 5th year of college and will be a 6th year before I can graduate, but all I've been told is that I'm not getting out fast enough, that I'm not doing a good enough job. My friends try to help me, but I feel like they can't understand because they have supportive families. (1/3)

(1/2. Not sure if the 3rd one disappeared or what, but I only got 2.)

amimis-understanding asked: as soon as she said that i felt extremely empty and void of emotion. i dont know how to cope with it. i started cutting and drinking and \the next thing ik i woke up yesterday morning in the hospital and they said i lost a 3rd of my blood. idk what to do..i love her a lot, but..i dont wanna be hurt any more. and its not just that. every day i have to think about how i found my ex dead in her room 5years ago. im tired of being sad and abusing drugs just to help "forget" the pain. im tired of

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amimis-understanding asked: cutting and being depressed and abusing different kinda drugs so ill be happy. i guess what i wanna know is how to cope with all of this? what do i have to do to forget all this pain and be the me that i used to be?.. sorry bout blowing up ur inbox btw..

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I can’t blame you for this personally, but you have to learn to not invest so deeply in every relationship you get into. Especially when they’re with girls who live far away, who more likely than not will break your heart. As for your past ex, that is extremely tragic, and I feel for your loss. As cliche and simple sounding as it is, you should find a better outlet for emotions than abusing drugs or cutting. Something athletic like skateboarding can help reduce stress to some degree. And frankly, you probably aren’t going to be truly happy for quite some time. But honestly, most people aren’t.

Life is not about being happy as much as it is trying to reach that point. Sometimes I have to tell myself these things when I start feeling depressed as well.

P.S. With all these experiences that you’ve had, you can’t expect to forget about them and become who you used to be. Instead, try to embrace what you’ve become, and use your past to better yourself, and strengthen yourself, rather than wallow in tragedy and misery.

You can do it.

-John

amimis-understanding asked: okay so i need advice..earlier this month me and my gf(ex now) had stopped talking for about 2 weeks bc my texting was messing up and she heard i was apparently cheating (we were long distance btw) and i went on her fb page to tell her i was getting a phone n got a plane ticket to see her for christmas and i saw a pic of her tagged on some guy's page and he was saying they were dating and that was the day after we stopped talking. i confronted her and she said if i was cheating why couldnt she?

Hmm. Well first of all, what she said should never be the case; one cheating does not justify the other to do so. However, based on the way you worded this, I can only assume you weren’t actually cheating on her, and that was a misunderstanding. Either way whether you cheated on her or not, if she is the kind of girl to make that kind of decision so quickly, she probably wouldn’t have made a very good girlfriend in the first place, and you saved yourself however much money on a plane ticket.

P.S. If she and the guy started associating with each other romantically the day after you two stopped talking, there is a high chance they already had a history or started talking before anything went wrong in your relationship with her. Best advice is just cut your losses and be thankful you found out about her true nature sooner rather than later.

Best of luck!

-John 

I’m going to list my personal cell phone number in case someone needs an answer immediately when I’m not online, i.e. suicide contemplation, family emergency, or other urgent matter.

Please don’t abuse my phone number. That wouldn’t accomplish anything.

(813) 394-3469